turns out, i loved you

“Franklin! You are a good dog making bad choices!” Franklin (Frank, Frankie, Frankuchino, Frankie Frank, Big Man), our French bulldog, was a small dog with a big personality. Dennis and I brought Franklin home in the winter of 2016 because we didn’t think we would be able to have kids. Nine months later, Miles joined us. I was having a hard time with a puppy and a newborn. So much so, that one day I called the breeder to say we were returning Franklin. Den quickly called the breeder back saying he will do whatever it takes to make sure Franklin has a great life. Den more than followed through on his promise.

Franklin and I didn’t always see eye to eye (hence me often having to use my ‘mom voice’ on Franklin), however, I loved him. I loved having him lay at my feet when I was working at my computer. I loved having him sort of cuddle me (he wasn’t really a “lap dog”, more of a ‘I’m close, but not too close’ dog) when my brother called telling me to fly home to say goodbye to our mom. I loved when, around the witching hour, Franklin would sprint from the back door of our house to the front door (crashing into the door), turn around and race back while knocking over baby Miles, and later, baby Margot. During this phase, his nickname was Pinball Franklin. I loved hearing my friend Laura reminisce with her kids saying, “remember when we were decorating gingerbread houses and Franklin went all savage when the candy spilled on the floor.”

I didn’t grow up with pets and therefore I didn’t realize pets are like people. Part of your family. I had my first experience with grief a little over three years ago when my mom died. Much to my surprise, all those familiar feelings of grief came back the night Franklin died. I was again, caught off guard. I didn’t think it would be this soon that I would reconnect with grief. But, as I’m learning, grief is a part of life. Another surprise, and I guess I’m still learning new things about myself, is that I miss Franklin everyday. He was a good dog who made bad choices.