Intimacy with Motherhood

Shortly after my mom died, I kept asking myself ‘How do I mother without my mother?’ Subsequently, I started photographing my kids, Miles and Margot, differently. I felt free to photograph my kids how I saw and felt when I was with them. I realize now that I was using photography to understand my experience mothering without my mother.

I’m making photographs of my experience as a mother without my mother so I can learn, and as Cig Harvey says, “to listen to what the work is telling me.” I’m also making these photographs for Miles and Margot. These photographs show them how much I love them, and how, even if I’m the person out of the frame, I am present in their lives. Ultimately, however, I’m making these photographs for my mom. I have to believe, somehow, she is “up there” with us, and watching us. These photographs are my way to let her know that I am okay.